Please, please tell me I'm not alone in this, in that every team has that one player who makes you cringe every time he steps on the ice. You wonder how he is even in the NHL and why, oh why does he have to be on your team. I have a solution... sort of. We can have us some fun!
In my case as a Rangers loyal and true, that player is defenseman Marek Malik(you know what I'm talking about Rangers faithfuls). Seems like a really nice, soft spoken guy, adored by his teammates. But he can't play worth a lick. As soon as you see his big, goofy body out there you can't help but think "oh no". How can only 30 to 40 seconds be so torturous? As he comes within 10 feet of the puck, you are praying he doesn't touch it, because if he does it's almost a sure giveaway, usually right in front of his net, with Lundqvist bailing him out. But the opposing team(knowing Malik's on the ice) swarms in and scoops up a rebound or makes a play from the corner quickly resulting in an untimely goal.
Besides the horrendous passing/giveaways and no shot to speak of(except that once-in-never-between-the-legs-shootout-winning-highlight-goal that many hockey fans remember), this guy(what seems like an 8-footer with skates) doesn't ever deliver a hit and shies away from being hit. Not to mention he makes his teammates look bad as they are all caught running around trying to make up for his mistakes.
When at a game, you simply aren't supposed to boo your own player every time he touches the puck - isn't that reserved for star players on the other teams? Yet this is what we do with Malik. We are tired of booing. He is exhausting.
Problem is Rangers management has some sort of love affair with the guy and has for the most part had their heads up their you know whats when it comes to blueliners(how in the world do you let guys like Leetch, Zubov, Nordstrom, Johnsson, Zidlicky... go?). Time for us fans to take matters in our own hands. This is where the above mentioned solution comes into play - I'll call it the "BUY 'EM OUT FUND"
We pool our "money" together to buy the player's contract out - get him the hell off the team. Come on, a few million is no biggie right? Actually for most of us it is. So Rangers fans, for some interesting conversation and fun, e-mail me and post here what you'd be willing to fork over(within your means - pretending you are giving actual money) towards the Buy Malik Out Fund. And fans of other teams, please e-mail that player you want out and how much you would contribute to a Buy 'Em Out Fund. Tell your friends to do the same! E-mail me at [email]firstname.lastname@example.org[/email]. ALL WHO DO WILL RECEIVE A DISCOUNT AT www.SportsGiftNets.com
I'll keep a running tally and post results on my new website and update the numbers in future blogs here. Thanks everyone and have a great summer!
(like "This is M.J.B." - Mary J. Blige)