In the spirit of Hallowe'en and All Saints Day comes this week's power rankings, which I'll now be making on a monthly basis.
I must repeat the disclaimer: the stats entirely determine the power ranking: I only try to rationalize what the stats are pointing out.
1. Boston Bruins 9-1-2 POWER 130 LW: 1
The Scary: Boston's dominance in both NFL and NHL right now.
The Saintly: Pastrnak's power play.
2. Florida Panthers 5-3-4 POWER 126 LW: 6
The Scary: Yet another slow start.
The Saintly: And likely yet another strong finish.
3. Washington Capitals 9-2-3 POWER 125 LW: 5
The Scary: Ovechkin at home.
The Saintly: One timers on this team.
4. Montreal Canadiens 5-4-2 POWER 121 LW: 4
The Scary: The capacity to lose to the league's worst.
The Saintly: The capacity to beat the league's best.
5. Tampa Bay Lightning 5-4-2 POWER 118 LW: 2
The Scary: A sub 500 record after that season last year.
The Saintly: Stamkos and Kucherov will only get stronger as the year wears on.
6. Arizona Coyotes 7-3-1 POWER 116 LW: 13
The Scary: Moneyball hockey.
The Saintly: Their possession game this year.
7. Dallas Stars 5-8-1 POWER 114 LW: 7
The Scary: The fact they haven't fallen from the top ten list, yet.
The Saintly: A five goal third period can leave you off with a high.
8. St. Louis Blues 6-3-3 POWER 113 LW: 4
The Scary: Binnington's performance thus far this year.
The Saintly: They're starting to get traction again.
9. Minnesota Wild 4-8-0 POWER 112 LW: 17
The Scary: ... why they're top ten.
The Saintly: Their finish last year, resulting in the residual stats it would take to make the top ten given how mediocre they currently are.
10. Carolina Hurricanes 8-3-1 POWER 109 LW: 12
The Scary: Svechnikov behind the net.
The Saintly: Their play this year has assumed where it left off last year.
11. Calgary Flames 6-6-2 POWER 107 LW: 8
The Scary: Lucic's contract.
The Saintly: Starting to warm up.
12. Anaheim Ducks 8-6-0 POWER 107 LW: 15
The Scary: Their play on the road.
The Saintly: Their play at home.
13. Pittsburgh Penguins 8-5-0 POWER 105 LW: 20
The Scary: Jack Johnson's contract.
The Saintly: Their capacity to score seven goals in a game.
14. Philadelphia Flyers 5-5-1 POWER 104 LW: 19
The Scary: Gritty.
The Saintly: Gritty.
15. Winnipeg Jets 6-7-0 POWER 104 LW: 25
The Scary: The team's PK. Some big bodied defence would help. They lost them all in the offseason.
The Saintly: Laine's performance in November last year; they could use that again.
16. New York Islanders 8-3-0 POWER 104 LW: 14
The Scary: The new rules Bettman will put into the NHL if the Islanders keep winning.
The Saintly: Their current heavenly seven-game winning streak.
17. Nashville Predators 8-3-1 POWER 103 LW: 22
The Scary: They look 17.
The Saintly: They don't play like they're 17th rank.
18. Colorado Avalanche 8-2-1 POWER 103 LW: 9
The Scary: Rantanen's injury.
The Saintly: Nathan MacKinnon's puck handling.
19. Edmonton Oilers 8-4-1 POWER 103 LW: 10
The Scary: How bad this team can look sometimes.
The Saintly: Their power play and third period play overall.
20. Vancouver Canucks 7-3-1 POWER 102 LW: 11
The Scary: Pettersson had a slow start - though it didn't reflect on the record.
The Saintly: Probably the last time they see bottom 15 this season.
21. Buffalo Sabres 9-2-2 POWER 102 LW: 16
The Scary: Their penalty box. You'll probably be skating out with the same expression you'll have leaving a haunted house and before the two minutes are up.
The Saintly: The start.
22. Columbus Blue Jackets 5-4-2 POWER 101 LW: 26
The Scary: They haven't been great.
The Saintly: They haven't been terrible either.
23. Vegas Golden Knights 8-5-0 POWER 98 LW: 18
The Scary: Their first pairing.
The Saintly: Their second line.
24. San Jose Sharks 4-8-1 POWER 96 LW: 27
The Scary: Their 5-v-5 play. Pessimists love this team because they're almost all negative (+/-).
The Saintly: Their special teams.
25. Chicago Blackhawks 3-6-2 POWER 94 LW: 23
The Scary: Their offense, or lack of it right now.
The Saintly: Certainly not Patrick Kane with his choice words for the ref last night! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth, young man?!
26. New York Rangers 4-5-1 POWER 90 LW: 24
The Scary: Their record is not as bad as they're playing.
The Saintly: Trouba's contribution to many stat categories.
27. Los Angeles Kings 4-8-0 POWER 88 LW: 31
The Scary: Kopitar's eyes.
The Saintly: Kopitar's still producing despite looking like he's seen death.
28. Ottawa Senators 3-7-1 POWER 87 LW: 21
The Scary: Eugene Melnyk.
The Saintly: The 2020 draft class.
29. Detroit Red Wings 4-8-1 POWER 86 LW: 29
The Scary: Zadina's and Valeno's play in the AHL thus far.
The Saintly: The 2020 draft class.
30. Toronto Maple Leafs 6-5-3 POWER 84 LW: 28
The Scary: Leaves fall in the autumn.
The Saintly: They'll probably spring in the spring. Babcock too good of a coach.
31. New Jersey Devils 2-5-2 POWER 73 LW: 30
The Scary: Devils are in hockey hell.
The Saintly: Jack Hughes is getting points more fit for his first overall status.
That is that. Thank you for reading. I accept criticism, but only about method. Many of the stats bleed over from last year, which is why a lot of teams are much higher or lower than they should be. These effects will wear off - but despite that, the middle of the rankings are extremely volatile, which means a two point hike in the power rankings can pop you ten positions.