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Denmark • 27 Years Old • Male
Not that anyone gives a damn but, on account of the wholesale failure of my laptop, I'm now gonna fast track the remainder of my Guides to Player Acquisition in an effort to stay on schedule. As such, I'll cover the remainder of my ideal targets in this blog!


LW, Warren GODDAM Foegele

If you've followed my posts in the Oilers threads this year, you'd think Foegele was the best thing since sliced bread or the Laughs and Reveen Fleshlight Company- and you'd be right! A well-rounded player with an exceptional mind for the game and a penchant for 5-on-5 production (both points and shots), I'm confident he'll be a solid middle-6 winger for many years to come. He'd be an excellent fit alongside Connor or Leon at even strength and would play a key role on both special teams in short order!

Cost: Caggiula and a 2019 2nd

Central Division:

RW/LW, Blake Comeau

Not much to explain here; just a consistently solid two-way veteran that wouldn't cost too much and could provide a calming influence to a RW position in a state of flux. Would likely be asked to fill-in on a top-6 line and- like Pouliot before him- his flaws would be exposed and he'd find himself with more haters than he deserves.

Cost: 2.6mil

RD, Greg Pateryn

A simple and effective defender along the lines of Mark Fayne but with better puck-moving and skating. Shows very well in possession and scoring chances and- in conjunction with a trade to upgrade our left side (OEL)- could act as a perfect complimentary piece to a more offensively inclined partner. As an example of the value a player like this can bring, look no further than Michal Kempny as he partners with Carlson in the Cup Finals.

Cost: 2.5mil

RW/LW Nino Neiderreiter

Another potential big name addition to our wings, Nino is a fantastic two-way presence who dominates possession and brings a valuable skillset to the table. I'm not convinced he'd be the ideal winger for Draisaitl due to his lack of high-end speed, but he would be a great partner for McDavid. Had Nuge not shown so well with McDavid at the end of the year, I'd be half-tempted to pull off a trade with those two (and others) involved! But alas, he did so there's little point in considering it further.

Cost: Nugent-Hopkins (for Nino+)

RD, Ryan Ellis

Before we get into this, I know what both sides will say: Oilers fans will scoff at the idea of acquiring a guy with one year left on his deal (and maybe the crazies will complain that he's too small) and Preds fans will recoil at the idea of trading such an integral piece of their blueline. Hear me out!

Assuming the rumors of the Preds entertaining the idea of moving Subban are false, the Preds may be hard-pressed to fit Ellis' new contract under the cap. As such, they might have to consider the option of moving him for the value he's so clearly worth. Meanwhile, Edmonton is in dire need of a puck-moving blueline anchor like Ellis that they could potentially offer a solution to Nashville's predicament.

Enter Oscar Klefbom. Arguably the Oilers' best defenseman when healthy, he's locked in at a VERY friendly 4.16mil cap hit for the next 5 years. While it would be very VERY difficult for me to move Klefbom (my heart would be devastated), Ellis is everything we're looking for. An exceptional passer, a quick puck-mover, a capable PP QB and an excellent defender; he's got it all!

Assuming Edmonton could get access to his agent and agree to the terms of an extension that was within reasonable range (I'd easily pay upwards of 6-7mil) prior to a trade, both teams would stand benefit: the Oilers get the perfect fit for their blueline and the Preds get the space to retain their near-perfect blueline.

I could go into further detail, but since I've now written a blog within a blog on this matter, I'll leave it at that.

Cost: Klefbom and a 2019 3rd

LD, Carl Gunnarsson

Here's a guy that consistently pulls even or ahead of his competition in GF% and has done so regardless of competition faced. He even fares well in team-relative GF numbers despite playing a fair deal of minutes against higher level competition (both in Toronto AND St Louis). Despite this, he's still held in low regard by many hockey circles due to the collapse of the perceived value of defensive defenders. Like I said of Pateryn earlier in this blog, he's a low-cost defender that regularly produces positive results on teams where he's utilized correctly. In conjunction with the aforementioned Ellis trade, he would be a perfect compliment to the remainder of our blueline!

Cost: Lagesson and a 2020 4th

LW, Brendan Lemieux

Another guy I've detailed as a hard target in the Oilers threads throughout this year, Lemiuex saw excellent year-over-year development in the AHL and became a key offensive contributor in Manitoba. His even strength production (both shots and goals) were near the top in the AHL and he produced such great numbers all while maintaining his Lemieux brand of scrapiness. He's the kind of guy you almost need on your team to compete (Shaw, Marchand, Wilson, etc) and, considering his consistent improvements in virtually every facet of the game, he'd be a guy I'd pursue actively- but I have no idea what he'd take to acquire.

Cost: I honestly don't think Winnipeg would entertain moving him

Out of these options, I wanna go bold and beautiful so I'll choose Klefbom and a 2019 3rd for Ellis, signing Blake Comeau for 2.6mil and Lagesson and a 2020 4th for Gunnarsson. As such, the final roster is as follows:

Nuge- McDavid- Puljujarvi
Lucic- Draisaitl- Nyquist
Khaira- Strome- Comeau
Hunt- Helm- Aberg
Wagner, Rattie,

Minors & Juniors: Joseph, Marody, Benson, Maksimov, 2018 40th overall pick

Nurse- Larsson
Sekera- Ellis
Gunnarsson- Benning
(7th Dman)

Minors & Juniors: Bear, Berglund, Samorukov, 2018 10th overall pick


*Buyout Russell or hope the Flames still value him like they used to*

This concludes our regularly scheduled programming.


As I apparently lack any credibility, I decided I'll make an active effort to emulate the epitome of credibility, my hero, JeroPotato In his infinite wisdom, he has shown me the way to the salvation that can ONLY be achieved through aging 20 years.

RD, Shea Weber

The most amazing Dman to ever live. Would immediately fix our team. 12.5 outta 12; would engage in lewd acts with again.

Cost: Eberle, Nurse, Petry, Moroz, Gernat, our 2015 1st, a conditional 2016 1st and a conditional 2017 2nd

Suck it, Jero
June 5, 2018 7:16 PM ET | Delete
Calling out Jero !!!! let's get ready to rumble
June 5, 2018 7:25 PM ET | Delete
This is shit. Why is Nash doing Klef and a 3rd? 29 other teams beat that offer.Nuge for Nino plus? An absolute stinker.And don’t worry about ruining your credibility..you’ve never had any to begin with ;)
June 5, 2018 7:29 PM ET | Delete
Don't worry, IggNog; I'm not under any illusions that I have credibility. My point is that no one here has any credibility and for someone to try to call me out on it (without proof, I might add) despite having his own backlog of ridiculous ideas is dumb and deserving of a bit of ridicule ;)
June 5, 2018 7:32 PM ET | Delete
As for the Ellis trade, they've got Fabbro coming soon and would be hard-pressed to find a better low-cost replacement for Ellis than Klefbom. Name some teams that would offer a better and/or cheaper option. I think they'd sooner move Subban, but this blog was written under the (shaky) assumption that they weren't aiming to do that.
June 5, 2018 8:09 PM ET | Delete
Good blog. Like the Ellis option. And I ditto on what you said about what we can offer for him. Not many teams can match that contract going on for Klefbom.
June 5, 2018 9:02 PM ET | Delete
Pure Dog shit, as per usual.
June 6, 2018 6:34 AM ET | Delete
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