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Napa, CA • United States • 26 Years Old • Male

Coyotes Cup Conspiracy

Posted 9:22 PM ET | Comments 7
The following is completely ficticious and is meant only for your amusement. I don't actually believe anything that follows and neither should you.

The Phoenix Coyotes will win the Stanley Cup this year. It's not because they are the best team, or because they are built for the playoffs, or even because Ilya Bryzgalov is the best goaltender in the world this year. It is because Gary Bettman wants it that way.

Don't believe me? Here are some facts to consider:

The NHL said from the beginning that with better management off the ice and a better product on it, the Coyotes could succeed in Glendale. Acting on that belief, the NHL purchased the franchise in US Bankruptcy court.

In making up the schedule, the NHL scheduled all three of the San Jose Sharks road games against the Coyotes this year on the second night of a back-to-back set. All three times that Phoenix goes to San Jose, the Coyotes will be well rested.

The Coyotes play on back-to-back nights seven times this season (Defending Champion Pittsburgh has 10). Only two of those trips involves a time zone change, going from Columbus to St. Louis in October and from Vancouver to Calgary in March.

The Coyotes longest road trips have four games in six days, but both are relatively easy trips (Trip 1 - Detroit, Toronto, Columbus, Anaheim; trip 2 - Carolina, Atlanta, Tampa Bay, Florida). Defending Conference champion Detroit has already played one of two five-game road trips (both are ten-day trips) and President's Trophy winner San Jose has already played a six-game, 11-day trip away from home (the first of three six-game trips).

The NHL schedules and pays the officials at all NHL games INCLUDING Coyotes games. They do not recluse themselves the way league disciplinarian Colin Campbell does in matters involving his son's team (Florida Panthers).

Just saying the deck seems pretty stacked in favor of the Cup heading to the desert for the first time.
Filed Under:   Coyotes   Gary Bettman   Stanley Cup  
December 12, 2009 9:54 PM ET | Delete
Dude, I'm not much of a conspiracy theorist but I have noticed that The Dogs DO get a lot of calls from the refs. I don't know if it's enough to get a Cup but making the playoffs would get the league some extra cash. Hey man, I'm just sayin'...
December 12, 2009 9:59 PM ET | Delete
See! Everyone says it's about Crosby and the Pens, but that's just a cover-up. Notice how Bettman keeps referencing that rebuild when he talks about Phoenix coming out of bankruptcy?
December 12, 2009 10:35 PM ET | Delete
I'm glad there are fans that have a brain. I've been saying that since the NHL took ownership. This has Pittsburgh written all over it - a franchise that is flat-lined, and a fix by Count Bettman to bring it back to life.
December 13, 2009 12:43 PM ET | Delete
Bettman can hand Phoenix whatever he wants (ala Pittsburgh) but it will never work. They have no recognizable fan base of any kind nor do they have a hockey history. The Pens have enough fans (for now anyway due to the bandwagon effect) and decent history. We'll see what happens when the league collapses again in 3-5 years.
December 13, 2009 2:08 PM ET | Delete
Phoenix's attendance numbers are pretty similar to the ones Pittsburgh had when they declared bankruptcy.
December 13, 2009 8:27 PM ET | Delete
Great article. Wouldn't surprise me if Bettman had something like this up his sleeve. I still think the only reason he refused to let Ballisile buy the Coyotes was because it was a matter of pride, since the Coyotes came into the league under his reign.
December 14, 2009 3:01 AM ET | Delete
Thanks amerk. Every now and then it's nice to know that the lighter side of the news is appreciated. "And that's the way the cookie crumbles!" LOL for the Bruce Almighty reference? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? Fry?
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