freelancer

Edmonton • Canada • 25 Years Old • Male

'Twas The Night Before Draftmas

'Twas the night before Draftmas and through the NHL,
Was a group of GM's that were stuck in cap hell;
The scouts prepared all their draft pick selections,
A steal in round 6? Cue the erections;

The fans were crowded around phones and computers,
Hoping to hear their team has acquired a new shooter;
And Oiler fans everywhere were getting the sense,
That this might be the year, they get some defense;

When out of the Web, Twitter was having a heyday,
For it seems the Canadiens might want to trade P.K.;
Away I went to boards to write a new blog,
About how acquiring Subban would be a key cog;

Most insiders were simply just shaking the head,
If Bergevin lost Subban he might be shot dead;
Who started this rumour, someone from Bruins or Maples?
Alway check your sources, it was merely Dave Staples;

Sifting through the rumours and rumblings abound.
We wait for word of a player with impact profound;
Too many times our hopes have been raised and then dashed,
We're sick of seeing our backend get thrashed;

There was Hamonic, Faulk, and Tyson Barrie,
With Murray's success a few mentioned Fleury;
But the odds of getting these guys has diminished,
Before he even started is Chiarelli finished?

So the fans will wait as time passes by,
Waiting for a miracle, they look to the sky;
But if you give me a moment and hear my cadence,
Now it's time for the Oil to practice patience;

Take a look around the league and you will be taught,
Of the unfortunate consequences that have been wrought;
For sometimes the pressure is too much for a GM to handle,
How else can you explain giving over 6 million to Yandle?

As I said earlier cap hell can be fickle,
Teravainen is a steep price to move Bickell;
Thinking long term is important I guarantee,
Otherwise you'll lose Demers and Goligoski;

And Vegas the new team, and division rival,
Worrying about expansion, a dangerous spiral;
Sit back and relax, take a shot of Jameson,
The Oil have more concerns than losing Davidson;

So in Chia we trust, to be cool and stay suave,
And not sell cheap on players like Yakupov;
And you may want Eberle gone for anything,
Who I then ask do you expect to play right wing?

Armchair GM's fun, of that there's no lie,
But in the end we must give the experts a try;
While it's easy to say that they cannot do worse,
I urge you to see how the team looks July First;

If you're still reading, I must give you applause,
For this Christmas parody, worse than The Santa Clause;
For hockey fans the next few weeks should be a delight,
And with that Merry Draftmas to all and to all a good night.