BluesFan44

"Welcome to the Man-Cave!!!"

The Man-Cave, taking a Prozac the size of a VW Beetle • United States • 42 Years Old • Male

BluesFan44 BF_44

Welcome to the Off-Season...

So the Cup has been skated, the ice has been taken up, and the Zamboni's put in storage. In most respects, this is a sad time for me. I love the game, and wish it would go on year-round. But there is an up-side to the off-season.

There is a distinct list of overused hockey cliches that incite bleeding from my aural canals and cause migraines that ache with the intensity of Hell itself. It is from these tired, beaten-down catch-phrases that I take a joyous sojourn:

lessons learned

A carryover from the mind-numbing world of corporate-speak, it's usually a polite way of saying "what a bone-headed play... don't ever do that again, unless you enjoy Binghamton".

Do or die

One of the glorious overstatements recently thrown about. This is used in all playoff sports, but is only really true in South American Soccer leagues. They should say "Do or go home until September", but I suppose that isn't as catchy

taken it to another level

Huh? Did this guy decide to just go play up in the mezzanine instead of at ice level? Frankly, when I hear this it makes me think "where was this effort previously?"

a great character guy

Sounds like an actor that always plays the "wacky neighbor" in sitcoms. Maybe Michael Richards can play hockey, seeing how he killed his acting career. Usually means "we couldn't find anyone with skill, but hey, ya gotta dress someone".

Plays on the edge

Look, just come right out and tell us that this guy would spear a 7-year-old in the adam's apple if he thought he could get away with it, and that he has a standing weekly conference call with Colin Campbell.

Goaltender wants that one back

If I were a goaltender, wouldn't you want back ANY shot that got past you? It's sort of the object of the position. I mean, if you had an unlimited supply of do-overs... what the heck? What they're really saying is "goaltender really made himself like an incompetent nincompoop on that one"

There's no tomorrow

Whoa.... pretty heavy stuff. I love the NHL, but maybe spending the eve of Armageddon at a hockey game is a decision you'll likely regret. Albeit, not for long...

Brings a lot to the table

All well and good, but if he insists on playing Wally the Waiter at the team meal, that's his decision. How it relates to hockey is pretty far beyond my comprehension.

goal scorer makes no mistake

You sure about that? Maybe he was shooting at the other corner? Then he would have made a mistake - just happened to still go in. Also, when guys miss the net, do we hear it as "makes a mistake"? I haven't heard it either...

And finally...

It is what it is

THERE'S a bold statement. It isn't what it isn't, either. Would be so much more entertaining were it "Hey Moron, get out of dreamworld and introduce yourself to this little thing called REALITY!"

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