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The Man-Cave, taking a Prozac the size of a VW Beetle • United States • 42 Years Old • Male
BluesFan44 BF_44
Back in June, I offered my first look at the tired phrases that make hockey fans everywhere want to gouge out their eardrums with a rusty spork. Some time has passed, and a few more of these little gems have drawn my ire.

"on the outside looking in"

Perhaps the reason they haven't won more games because the janitor lost the key to the arena's visitor door? Or maybe just because too often they showed up, but their game didn't?

"a depth guy"

Originally used to describe the guy who fished the Stanley Cup out of Mario Lemieux's pool, this now describes a player that local fans would like to fit with concrete shoes...

"takes up a lot of net"

This generally means that a goaltender is wearing 3 semi-trailer tires around his waist, has one of the latest Whirlpool side-by-side refrigerator/freezers strapped to each leg, and uses his catching glove as a dust cover for his antique '68 Plymouth Road Runner.

"jockeying for position"

Thought by many to refer to the battle for playoff bracket slots, it actually referred originally to up-and-down channel surfing that was used to find the rest of the game once the horse race started...

"This time of year, every game is so important"

This is true. However, had you found those games back in November and December to be this important, you probably wouldn't be in the mess you're in now, would you???

"leave it all on the ice"

Well I suppose this is one approach, but I think most fans would prefer you wait to get into the privacy of the locker room to start shedding your gear. This also can refer to leaving all of your opponents laying on the ice as you're sent to serve your triple minor.... up by a goal...... with 7:00 left....

"a tough call"

Ok. Some of you may want to sit down. I'm going to break this to you easily. Occasionally in the National Hockey League, calls are made that people don't agree with. I know, I know... you've probably never seen it yourself, so you may not believe me. But I'm here to tell you that it does in fact happen. "A tough call" is the nomenclature for this rarest of events.

Now go out there and give it 110%!!!!!
Filed Under:   Hockey Humo(u)r   Comedy  
March 10, 2008 8:51 PM ET | Delete
My favorite platitude is, of course, that every "room" is filled with a "great group of guys" who will always win as long as they play "our games" and not "their game." Famous last words. (So just what kind of "group of guys" is it that they have down there in Dallas I wonder? "Suckers?" Bwahahahahahaha)
March 10, 2008 9:10 PM ET | Delete
and the ever present..."we have to win the battles in the corners." We lose the battles everywhere else on the ice but we NEED to win in the corners!Great work BF! SYF
March 10, 2008 11:57 PM ET | Delete
The goalie would like to have that one back is my absolute favorite cliche...Doesn't every goalie want his goals against taken back?
March 11, 2008 9:33 AM ET | Delete
Well done BF - you are truly a great guy to have "in the room" you "lead by example" and are not afraid to "go to the front of the net".
March 11, 2008 1:04 PM ET | Delete
I think Brashear "left it all on the ice" the other night and it cost his team a W because it "is all about the 2 points." Players need to "play on the edge" but also "keep control of their emotions."
March 11, 2008 5:32 PM ET | Delete
I can tell you never played at a very high level...
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