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Calgary, AB • Canada • 29 Years Old • Male

Flames Thoughts

Posted 2:08 PM ET | Comments 8
41 games down, 41 games to go – and they are going to be long 41 games at that.

Sitting 14th in the Western Conference, six points back of 8th place, hopes for a miracle run are fading in a hurry. It doesn’t help the situation when a majority of teams ahead of the Flames have played fewer games than them, making it doubly hard to gain any sort of ground.

Did I mention that you have to actually win games to gain ground as well? Right. Another stopping point in their quest for legitimacy.

Jay Feaster is apparently conjuring up two separate master plans for the future of the Flames organization: one if they are out of contention and one if they are in contention. Well, Jay, you may as well just focus on the prior, and stop wasting time on the latter.

Watching the Canucks dispose of the Flames last night was difficult to say the least. Yes, they outshot the Northwest division leaders 44-21, but it never really seemed as if they EVER had a chance. Maybe the goal 1:10 into the game had something to do with it.

Chasing down the opponent. Coming from behind. Struggling to get back in the game. It’s all too familiar territory for this Flames team.

A constant struggle.

So instead of analyzing for the umpteenth time why the Flames are simply not good enough as a team, I instead tried to imagine what the players could possibly be thinking. Here is what I came up with.

Iginla: “Oh god, why is Olli on my line again?”

Jokinen: “Here comes the puck! Spin annnnd Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Such a good move.”

Iginla: “Here comes the Jokinen spin and shoot again...and it’s blocked, no one’s surprised.”

Backlund: “I can’t wait to get out of this system, so I can really blossom.”

Tanguay: “I am glad Calgary took a chance on me so I can raise my stock and get more money elsewhere.”

Jackman: “I can’t believe I’m the best player on this team. Even I think that’s sad.”

Kipper: “Little help? Here’s a tip guys, if you aim for the logo, you will most likely hit the logo. Bobby is not that bad. Just a thought.”

Jokinen: “I’ll bet if I keep making these ill-advised shots from horrible angles with numerous defenders in my way, one might go in. What a devious player you are Olli...muahahahahah.”

Bouwmeester: “Man, I’m boring.”

Regehr: “If I could only get my legs out of this concrete.”

Stajan: “1, 2, 3.5-million dollars! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.”

Iginla: “Would it be wrong if I punched my own teammate?”

Morrison: “When the timing is just right I will rip off my Flames jersey and reveal my Canucks jersey to a roar of cheers. It’s going to be awesome. Next up: Monday Night RAW.” (courtesy: FAN960. Just too funny of an idea.)

Jokinen: “Oat bag, I got my oat bag now, oat bag time for me.”

Kotalik: “I wish I was still good.”

Iginla: “I wonder what Real Estate is like in LA?”

Kipper: “Hey Iggy, don’t leave me here. Please?”

Darryl Sutter: “Enjoy the mess everybody!”

Waffle Guy: "Look's like my services are needed out west. Calgary here I come!"
Follow Waffle Guy on Twitter: @leafswaffleguy


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January 6, 2011 3:06 PM ET | Delete
Too funny but sad.
January 6, 2011 4:07 PM ET | Delete
January 6, 2011 5:37 PM ET | Delete
Could have been more witty
January 6, 2011 6:46 PM ET | Delete
Well, at least we're in better shape than the young gun years! Best trade bait we had at the time was Val Bure, and an ownership group with lint in their pockets!
January 6, 2011 11:40 PM ET | Delete
Bourque: "I swear I used to know how to play this game. Like, even just a month ago..."
January 7, 2011 1:19 AM ET | Delete
Sutter calling Kipper out is awful, like a CEO calling out his best employee. 1st goal impossible, 2nd goal screen, 3rd goal no stick, can't clear zone and perfect tip. Fire all the Sutters
January 7, 2011 1:50 PM ET | Delete
Sounds like a thing Darryl would do.
January 11, 2011 1:35 PM ET | Delete
Even if they had the miracle, they might mess it up. Nice touch with the players thoughts.
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