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Refz r pussyyies, ON • Afghanistan • 16 Years Old • Male
HELLLLLLLLLLLO ladies and gentlemen. The 2015 NHL entry draft is over and the Edmonton Oilers made some impressive moves which included bringing in a former 4th overall all pick. Edmonton also traded for a goalie... <s>Fuhr?</s>. Oh not Fuhr... Never mind. But we'll get to who will be Edmonton's new number on goalie later!

So Edmonton's previous season was quite lackluster finishing in third last. But us Oiler fans can look up in the sky and see a bright new star as hope arises. It was just like Christmas the day Edmonton decided to fire their management. Lowe was booted out of his Head of Hockey Operation's job and in comes Nicholson and it got much better from there. Nicholson hired Peter Chairelli, who has now become a God in our eyes has already made some impressive moves which include hiring Todd McLellan and firing the scouting department of Edmonton. The past two days, Chairelli has backed up his God-Like GM skills trading picks for roster players like he was playing be a GM on NHL 15. I will now analyze these said trades:

On the first day, our God named Chairelli traded Edmonton's 16th overall and 33rd overall landing our newest Paul Coffey, Griffin Reinhart. Reinhart is a solid two way defender who played for Bridgeport SoundTigers in the AHL last season. He sniped an impressive 7 goals and assisted 15 more. Expect Coffey/Reinhart or whatever his name is to be playing in the NHL in a year or so. When the dynasty fully comes together we should be expecting him to be playing top line minutes.

On the second day our Lord Chairelli traded the 57th, 79th and the highly valued 184th pick and Chiarelli, being the legend.... wait for it.... dary God that he is landed a young goalie for 3 picks! Wait, didn't Sather want a first? Talbot is essentially the Grant Fuhr of today's dynasty. He may be 27, but he has yet to hit his prime. (His prime will be winning 6 cups in 7 years.) Talbot has played 57 games, scoring no goals, no assists.... Wait he isn't a forward? Well he isn't as great as he could be then! All jokes aside, in his 57 games Talbot has posted impressive numbers, winning 33 of those said games. He has a 2 GAA average and a .931 save percentage. He led the Rangers to winning the President Trophy. If Chai-God picks up some decent defense this offseason Oil fans should expect the same numbers.

On the same day, the Savior, Chairelli with his son, MacTavish, traded Travis 'the career ahler' Ewanyk and the 107th pick for Eric Gryba... Yup! You heard that. The God traded a career AHLer and a pick for A GUY WITH A NICE BEARD. (though he can help the rest of the team with their playoff beards.) Forget the beard. Gryba can also deck people at the blue line and him being the type of player he is he doesn't need to play every game. So McLellan wouldn't need to play Gryba against a small team like... Let's say against Montreal... Unless Chairelli wants wreak havoc on the world just like God with that story about a massive flood and a huge boat. Gryba will be striking fear into his opponents just like the mighty Aztecs did.

Next, Chairelli Christ, traded Marincin to the Maple Leafs for an ECHL player and a fourth. At first I was personally screaming at my TV. Then I started to think... "With Ference, Nikitin, Klefbom, Nurse, Gryba and Reinhart all playing on the left side, why does Edmonton need Marincin. His value is quite high and he is a RFA... So does Edmonton really need him?" Why does Edmonton have so many left handed defensemen? Maybe our Lord, Chairelli, has something in plan here. Maybe he is going to trade Ference to free up some cap. Or better yet you can get rid of Nikitin. Chairelli, if you are reading this, I have two things to say to you:

A) FOR THE LOVE OF GOD (yourself obviously), GET RID OF NIKITIN!
B) You are LEGEND …. wait for it.... and I hope you aren't lactose intolerant.... DARY!

What happens the rest of the magical 5 days where Chairelli will build his team just like God built the world. Stay tuned for tomorrow. I will have an opinion piece on how ChairellaGOD did at this years draft. Thanks for reading everyone. I hope you enjoy and I look forward to your amazing comments!
June 28, 2015 12:21 AM ET | Delete
June 28, 2015 12:51 AM ET | Delete
Die in a aids fire !!!
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