Home HockeyBuzz Register Login
"All Geeked-Up for the Deadline..."
Newtown Square, PA • United States • 45 Years Old • Male

I have the shakes. You know...the tremors, the horrors, shaking delirium. Not from alcohol or anything that mild, I have the Hockey Shakes and I've got it bad.

I've been without hockey for little more than a week now...more precisely since 5:41pm on May the 18th...and I'm not dealing very well. (Yes, I know some of you have been without hockey for much longer...I can only pray for your souls)

Yes the cup finals is on and it looks like the youth movement in Pittsburgh hit the wall against the experience and clutch goalie play of Detroit. I can still watch hockey and get my fix, but my Flyers' Jones continues to be strong.

I am a man without a country, an Orange and Black island awash in a sea of baseball and...(ick) basketball. I cannot take it much longer...

I don't know about you, but I have gone through various stages of hockey withdrawal and I wanted to share with you, my hockeybuzz brethren, some signs that you might being going through a similar situation.

You know you're going through hockey withdrawal when:

* You see a shortstop go down and miss a ball between his legs...the announcer calls it an "error" and you're yelling "5-Hole!"

* You see "Bob," of Bob's Big Boy, and you immediately think of

* You see the punchbowl on your parent's dining room table and just for the most fleeting of moments you think....could it be?

* You start seeing tree branches that look like hockey sticks...then you realize that that branch sold for $2.2 million dollars on e-bay as the "world's oldest hockey stick" dating back to 1850. Shouldn't have tossed that one back into the woods...

* You go to a backyard Bar-B-Que and your host tries to foist those Veggie Burgers on you. You promptly swat that hockey puck-looking thing right into his mug, pull his shirt over his head and wrestle him to the ground. As you head to the Bin for two, you yap that if he brings out tofu ice cream, that you're gonna pummel him so badly his own mother wouldn't recognize him.
* You keep expecting to hear the ESPN National Hockey Night tune when you watch the 2008 playoff intro on the rodeo channel and always come away disappointed.

* You see the flashing lights on the back of a garbage truck and immediately yell, "He SCORES!" People sometimes look at me kinda funny...

* A guy bumps into you "by mistake" on a crowded train, you turn and give the guy the facewash he deserves. The little old lady next to you has a horrified look on her face, so you crosscheck her with your umbrella 'cause she had it coming.

Last, but not least...

* I wish I could watch the Flyers one more playoff game...even if it meant watching Jaroslav Modry lose another footrace with a two-toed tree sloth.

Thanks for reading...

Filed Under:   Playoffs   NHL   Flyers   SYF   SYF  
May 28, 2008 1:13 AM ET | Delete
Trainspotting: (Our boy Renton): "I don't feel the sickness yet...that's for sure. I'm in the junkie limbo at the moment. Too ill to sleep. Too tired to stay awake, but the sickness is on its way. Sweat, chills, nausea. Pain and craving. A need like nothing else I've ever known will soon take hold of me. It's on its way."
May 28, 2008 8:03 AM ET | Delete
great stuff and i know the feeling. maybe add that you( being a flyer fan) wish you were the guy in the goalie pads in the fantasy commercial. my wife swears if it was a pred sweater on that goalie it would be me.
May 28, 2008 8:26 AM ET | Delete
Outstanding.........and I feel your pain. You forgot one though ....... driving down the highway and a semi hits it's horn.....and you try and jump up to cheer another Flyers goal......breaking both arms and spraining your neck even before hitting the guardrail.
May 28, 2008 8:29 AM ET | Delete
preds...................I love that commercial. The first time I saw it, I about fell on the floor laughing so hard. The league captured the essence of Flyers fans, and hockey fans in general with that one.
May 28, 2008 8:32 AM ET | Delete
*twitch* *twitch*
May 28, 2008 9:28 AM ET | Delete
Mmmmuusstt watch hockey...ugh. I just took the season schedule off my wall yesterday. I have a couple more observations. - You look down on all the people on the first floor of the mall and start yelling "too many men!" - You sit in your cubicle at work and wait for your two minutes to be up. - You boo anyone in black and white striped shirt. Good job as always SYF, keep it up during the break. - SZ
May 28, 2008 9:47 AM ET | Delete
what about when 7 oclock rolls around and you aimlessly scroll through the guide looking for flyers hockey, too no avail you end up watching the cooking channel, and one lone tear drop plummets down your cheek crashing on to the table, then your wife has the tenacity to look you in the eyes and tell you your pathetic and that she should have married the stock broker because he lives in new york in some fancy loft and your only a plumber whose put on 30 pounds of fat since the last kid was born. does that sound like withdrawl. i need my fix, maybe homer can sign carter today! then i wont have to beat my kids
May 28, 2008 1:47 PM ET | Delete
I feel ya man...I feel ya. BTW, all hillarious posts, except maybe the last one. That's a little disturbing man, you need help. :)
May 28, 2008 4:50 PM ET | Delete
I found myself in a bar the other night... which had many beautiful women as patrons... and their I am leaning on the end of the bar... talking to some strange dude in a Flyers hat about possible Flyers signings / trades / ect. The sickness is rampant.
May 28, 2008 5:43 PM ET | Delete
Here's another one...you drag your 35 year old, fat out of shape ass out to play organized hockey for the first time in years, in the sweltering heat of the Jersey shore, and drag your best buddy along, too.
May 28, 2008 7:15 PM ET | Delete
JS - seek immediate medical help...not the ER..the Shrink.SYF
May 29, 2008 5:30 PM ET | Delete
ya put Modry up there! Geez SYF......
May 30, 2008 10:00 AM ET | Delete
SYF - solid link to the the National Hockey Night theme (they also have NHIC!). Skypager - dude. About as sad as I can imagine, and I will gladly say I've done the same thing. What's wrong with us? And for all - the worst part: heading to the bar after your weekly skate with no games to watch.
May 31, 2008 9:21 AM ET | Delete
The ESPN National Hockey Night theme is now my ringtone...I must have really flipped a lid!
Leave a Comment
You must be logged in to leave a comment.

Blog Archive