The Dead Line Research Project

Posted 4:19 PM ET | Comments 4

An interesting question was posed to me: Why do you bother trying chasing rumors all over the place? I mean, in reality, do we really know what a GM is thinking? The two I find hardest to read General Managers are Sutter and Gainey. Yet we keep trying to do this all year around. The headaches are maddening.

For one thing, I live here in Calgary. Trying to figure out what Sutter is thinking is like trying to learn what my wife wants before she says it. It just does not happen very often. Yet we have many people trying to do just that - not figuring out what my wife wants, the other thing! The latest rumour is Ryan Smith being sent to the Flames, and tomorrow it will more than likely be Olli from Florida. Yet that will not stop us from trying to guess Mr. Sutter’s thoughts. Yeah, good luck with that.

In Montreal we have all sorts of rumors that I am hearing. We have Antropoff and Kaberle coming from Toronto to the Habs. Can you imagine the horror from the Leafs fans, watching those two in Habs uniform? That would be like having your best friend take away your girl (although in some cases that might not be such a bad thing - of course, in my case that would be devastating, sweetheart!) And, of course Bill Guerin, which leads me to my next topic.

Bill Guerin I have heard being traded to 7 teams. Oh, you think I am going crazy? I tell you, he has been traded to Boston, Buffalo, Montreal, NJ, NYR, Washington, and of course Philly. Does Guerin have a frequent flyer card? Can he write those costs off as expenses? Oh, by the way, everyone has inside sources. I guess we are cloning, because all these teams have acquired Guerin. Tell me how much does cloning cost? And do the Isles get all 7 offers? Because if they do, Snow is a genius!

I wonder why they do not call bloggers paparazzi. Seriously, they stalk the General Mangers. But I guess in a way they are not, because there not chasing them on scooters, and don't have cameras, instead they have tape recorders, and those other small gadgets. I wonder how many General Managers have their phones bugged. Yes, but how does the insect actually get the information to the bloggers? So they really cannot do that, there has to be another way for the bloggers to get information.

So I say it has to be those little green men. Yes, think about it. They can get into any kind of space anywhere. Yes that has to be it. They get into the room of the General Managers while they sleep (they have that 20 minute shifts) and as soon as they hear anything, they send their texts to the blogger via the gadgets. The bloggers train them on how to use them before they go out to the field.

So where do they get their green men? Well that part is easy, it's from Area 51. That is how the F.B.I. keeps their funding in these hard economic times; they contract the species they catch, and rent them out. They really get some good coin, so be on the look out for UFO'S. They even have a hot line, but mostly they use the email and blackberries. Oh there is re certification process every year, to keep up with today's technology. Which reminds me, it’s bad enough that you dye me green, can I take the dye in a drink instead of intravenously? Until next time, take care!

Filed Under: Trades Sutter Gainey